Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i will never coherently bang her
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
