I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Someone signed my nipple.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
