So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
