i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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