Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize