I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
