Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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