Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize