Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
