And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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