I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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