I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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