very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
