Have you finally orgasmed yet?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Quick, to the slutcave!
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
