We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
