I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
