He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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