Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Plan B is the new Plan A
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
