Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
he shaved USA in his pubs
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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