Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize