Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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