he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize