My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize