dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
is that a dick in a sweater?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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