dude i'm inner monologue high
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize