You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
