Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
