FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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