Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
