I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
porn star boner night. come get it.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
