the day after is always just damage control
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize