Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
