Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
