she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
i think my cat just said my name.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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