you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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