so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
