I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
