I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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