high people should be assigned attendants
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
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