Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
