Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize