we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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