Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
