i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
