theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
