You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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