Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
