Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
