So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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