I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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