..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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