just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
