And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
