READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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