I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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