either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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