yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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