"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
