my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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