I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
