i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
