On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
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