Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
