I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
