Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
