is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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