quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
