There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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