i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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