I puked a lego.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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